How Much Have You Grown

How much have grown this year? 

How do you know? 

When the kids were young we had a big poster that had a tree where we could mark their growth. (I wonder where that went…) On birthdays and other occasions we would mark their height and compare their growth to their past markings and their siblings marks. 

Other ways of knowing the kids were growing were the skills they were mastering. Rolling over, crawling, walking. Multi-word sentences, reading, writing a story. Performing, competing, creating. 

The growth and learning curve evolves as we move into adulthood. The proliferation of ‘adulting’ memes celebrates our daily tasks even when we aren’t getting gold stars on a chart somewhere. 

Setting a goal, planning for it, reaching for it, and achieving it is incredibly satisfying. But it is only part of the story. The nature of goals is that they are measurable and external. What happens in the process of those goals – that is the growth I am curious about.

Adult growth and learning can  become more curated and interesting. We move from learning basic living and social skills to pursuing deeper understanding and creating an impact.  

In our homes and at work, we may still be given a task list or a set of goals, but we have much more agency in how we will tackle a challenge and what we will learn in the process. We might master a program or a process, and we likely bring our own nuance and flavor to our work. And our work will impact our growth – sometimes significantly, sometimes subtly. 

We might have focused spaces of relationships and hobbies. We put aside time and attention and resources toward these choices. Our growth is tested, adjusted, and solidified sometimes without our even noticing – an organic mystery like a seed put in the ground that somehow is a bloom five weeks later. 

So how do we measure how much we have grown? What does our adult growth chart look like? 

I would suggest three places where you can begin to discover and mark your growth. 

When you look over your bank statements from the last twelve months, what do you see? Where did you spend? Where did you invest? Where did you try something new? What habits and beliefs are represented in these numbers? 

When you look at your calendar over the last eighteen months, what have you already forgotten that you did? Who did you talk to? Where did you go? What did you start that you are still doing – maybe without even thinking about it anymore? What have you stopped doing?

When you browse through your photos over the last two years, what do you notice? Are there connections you made? Are there places you revisited? Was there something that was so beautiful that it took your breath away?

What importance does growth have in your life? 

How will you know?